Coach Bustin’s Story
Pam Bustin - Duke Field Hockey Coach
“And you can also commit injustice by doing nothing.” - Marcus Aurelius
BLACK LIVES MATTER has taken the forefront in our media, in our neighborhoods, in our conversations, and in our thoughts. However, although it may seem that I am now dedicating thoughtful time to this incredibly important part of our American culture, I realize that I have been mashing and now distilling what I have held in my heart for most of my life. My personal racial journey towards understanding is lifelong, however my evolution to antiracism has just begun.
I thought for so long that my beliefs and values, and how I live within those beliefs and values would be enough to help change the hearts of those who discriminate. I went about my day, my job, my relationships in a very steady, honest, and loving way. I felt it was clear to others that I accept. That I accept and love all who share my world regardless of their differences. I took great pride in my acceptance of humanity. Growing up, I never agreed with the blatantly racist stance of my grandmother or the racist slurs often used by my middle school best friend. My heart innately felt the opposite and while I did share my disapproval, I never did anything to try and CHANGE their thoughts. I guess I felt, at that time, that they had a right to their beliefs, and I could never make them see otherwise. What did I know?
Field hockey has given me countless opportunities to experience foreign cultures, both home and abroad. At each stop I tried to learn about and absorb the native culture. Through these travels, I made friends and acquaintances with so many different people from all over the world. With each relationship formed, my belief in human equality strengthened.
I have recruited and coached young talented women of different religions, races, and ethnicities. Each agreed to be a part of our team and commit to the values of our program and we became family. I treated each the same, I coached and mentored each the same, and I cared for each the same. I would celebrate and highlight their individual strengths as well as help them develop new tools to aid in their success. I had conditioned myself to see each player for whom they were within our hockey family.
Looking back, I realize that I worked to create a copasetic daily vibe that allowed me to integrate and provide opportunities to all players within the team. However, with regard to the Black student-athletes that have I coached, this approach did little to aid in the fight against blatant and systemic racism. I had no idea what life was like in the hearts of my Black student athletes. How could I? I did not see their color, nor did I acknowledge my own understanding of black history and how that history might affect each person. My “color blindness” was not helping the bigger picture nor the deeper issues.
I am no longer color blind. Working at Duke and being a part of this awesome academic and civically engaged community has accelerated my education on race. Here, within this awareness, there is discussion, there is understanding, there is diversity, there is action, and there is a clear respect for all humanity.
As our country’s dark racial history continues to be exposed, I see that I must and can do more. I must continue to educate myself on more specific examples of racial injustice. I must have more conversations about it, not just with my Black friends, but every one of my friends and my family members. I need to create safe and supportive ways to facilitate racial discussions within the teams that I coach. I must make a better effort to extend my resources to all demographics and create opportunities for Black and minority children to learn and play the game that has provided me with so much. I must stand up and speak out when I see or hear racial injustices. I must remain committed and consistent with my efforts and inspire others to do the same. I must be an Antiracist example to my own children as they begin to navigate their own journeys and together, we WILL NOT do nothing.